


ice skates and hope in new york

by OceanSwiftie



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Cancer Arc, Christmas fic, F/M, New York, They love each other, finding peace and happiness, humor and angst, ice skating in rockfeller center, window shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28364094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanSwiftie/pseuds/OceanSwiftie
Summary: They have extra time after a case, so they decide to visit the city. Set during christmas time.
Relationships: mulder and scully
Kudos: 5





	ice skates and hope in new york

20 December 1996, 5:30pm, Rockefeller Center, New York City.

They walk across the street, side by side, as snow falls, in their winter jackets, swirling through the air.  
The wind whips her wavy red hair, like flames, tangling it, making it fly across her face. 

The tall buildings stretch up before them, as if they are trying to touch the sky. They laugh and talk among the bustling crowd of people, always moving, never stopping.

“ Mulder, it’s snowing”, she says, in an almost childlike glee. She tilts her head back and holds her hands out. He tries to catch a snowflake, he sticks out his tongue. “ I know, I didn’t expect that”, because, usually, they never get any snow.  
The sun dips lower in the sky. 

They have just finished investigating a homicide case, which, once again, with no proof, has led to nowhere. She feels as if they are turning in circles sometimes. 

They reach Rockerfeller center, which is definitely decked out for the holidays. A Christmas tree stands in the center, decorated with lights and shiny ornaments.  
Cheesy christmas music blares through the speakers. They stare in awe at the whole scene. Every building is lit up and has wreaths, tinsel… The air is cold, crisp.  
Everywhere there are vendors shouting and busy shops, a little boy runs past, pulling his mother’s hand. In the middle of it all there is an ice-skating rink, filled with people. 

They have an extra night, the plane for Washigton doesn’t leave until the morning, so why not spend it with each other. 

“ Hey, Scully, want to try”, he asks, pointing. “ Okay, sure”, she says. “ I’m actually pretty good, even though I haven’t done it in a while.” “ Oh, cool, you never told me that”.  
They go over to the long line and wait for about ten minutes before the employee calls them up. “ Hi, we would like two pairs of rental skates please.” “ Scully, what’s your shoe size?” “ Um…” He grabs her shoe to check the sole, as she struggles to balance and ends up leaning against him. “ Hey!” “ Sorry, just checking”, he says, shrugging, smiling innocently. 

They sit down on a hard wooden bench, under the covered tent where parents are helping kids find gloves and the right pair of shoes. Scully starts to tie the laces of her brown skates.  
“ You know, probably hundreds of people used these. Not very hygienic”, she says, wrinkling her nose. “ Scully, your feet are so small, I don’t think anyone else would ask for that size”, he says jokingly. “ Ha, ha”, she responds.  
He holds one of her skates up against his. In comparison, they look tiny. “ Bigfoot”, she mouths, smirking.  
He swats at her playfully.

She flips her red and white scarf over her shoulder and gets up, going to the edge of the rink. He follows suit. She steps out onto the ice, pushing off with ease. She looks so beautiful, her scarf fluttering out behind her, her jeans and cardigan somehow showing every curve.

“ Wait”, he calls, because it is a way harder than it looks. His legs wobble and he desperately clutches the railing. 

She skates back towards him, laughing. “ Well, you can lean on me”, she offers.  
And that’s how they end up, him holding onto her, his body so close to hers she can feel his heartbeat. They slowly make their way around the rink, their breath coming out in little clouds. 

“ How are you doing”, she asks. “ I’m holding in there. This is fun, even if it is now a fact that I have two left feet”. “ Yeah, it is.” 

She wonders about many things, is Mulder just a friend, or something more? Now, being diagnosed with cancer, everyday she is struggling internally, knowing she is dying and that there is nothing she can do about it, she doesn’t know when, it could be any day. It can be scary, that you have to accept that. Maybe she still hasn’t. 

No one could know how hard it was, to fight and fight, every time. She learned to appreciate every moment in life, to keep fragments, memories, because every scrap will be taken from her. But she cannot die, not when she still has so much to prove, to accomplish, and her family… Bill said it was Mulder’s fault, that he had caused her cancer, but how could he say something like that?  
She had known the consequences, and however the extreme, he cannot take the blame for this. She could have left him, but instead she stayed, walking down the path next to him. Was that the wrong choice?

Maybe it was, but she will never forget him, Mulder, her partener, a friend, she trusts him with everything. Is it the right thing to do, the life she should lead? She hopes he understands if she cannot make the rest of the journey by his side. But, she tries to push those thoughts away, they don’t matter right now. 

“ Scully, look.” He is standing, without her help this time. She starts to say something, but, just then, a teen zips past and he loses his balance, arms windmilling. “ Woah, watch out”, he yells.

She tries to catch him, but he falls flat on his butt. She fails to cover her laugh with a cough, as she helps him up, putting an arm on his back, steadying him. “ Ow.”  
“There might be a bruise.” “ It’s not funny.” “ No, I know”, she replies, but her mouth twitches. 

After a while, they have skated a lot, Scully’s nose and cheeks are red and his feet hurt. The sky is darker, the snow sticks to the ground, about 1cm, still falling, but it has slowed. 

So they go back to the entrance to take off their skates. He helps her take them off, because she forgot gloves, and her hands are frozen. He blows on them, taking her hands in his own, rubbing them together. “ Better?” She nods, feeling a shiver run through her body, but she doesn’t know if it is from the cold or Mulder. 

They walk around, window shopping, stopping by every shop to gaze at it’s display.

“ Will you remember me, always, even when I’m gone?”, she asks softly.  
“ Of course. You are not going to die, don’t say that.” He stops, without looking at her, because he can’t, he does not want to cry, not in front of her.  
Instead he reaches down and touches her cross necklace, tears pricking his eyes anyways. He wants to say that he loves her, she is his whole world, all he needs, everything to him, he wants to scream that out loud.  
If she dies, he would not have anything to live for, there is no point in continuing. Lately, Scully has become more important than work. It has never been that way before, but he cares, so much, for her. Please, he thinks, please don’t let her go. He swallows hard.

“ Um, Scully, I’m sorry, if you can’t forgive me, I mean, I don’t know… we can talk, I’ll listen, I promise. Because I care about you, more than anything.”  
“ Mulder, I’m fine, really. Don’t blame yourself. None of this is your fault. I trust you with everything, with my life”, she says, even though of course she is not okay.  
He closes his eyes for a second, knowing she lied.

They keep walking, sometimes stepping inside a shop to keep warm, to get away from the cold. The windows are filled with toys, nutcrackers, snow, miniature villages with a train station and railroad tracks, santas, lights…

They go inside a toy shop. “ How do I look'', he asks, taking a sweater from the rack and holding it up. It is green and red-striped, with the words “naugthy or nice” printed on it. “ It looks… scratchy.” “ Hey, we could be matching. Or, what about this one for you?” It has a reindeer on it. “ Uh, no thanks.” 

While she is distracted, he discreetly tries to buy her a present. Dodging people, he quickly steps up to the counter and pays. “ Close your eyes and hold out your hands'', he says. She does so, and he places the small brown teddy bear in her outstretched hands.  
“Oh, Mulder, thanks'', she says, smiling slightly, even though he is horrible at gift giving, it was nice, it’s the thought that counts. The bear has a maroon bow tied around his neck. “ It’s cute.” She is glad that he didn’t buy her an ugly christmas sweater, at least.  


They wander around more, before stopping at a vendor’s stand to get a soft pretzel and hot chocolate for Scully, mulled wine for Mulder. They share it together, sitting on stools at the counter.

An elderly lady passing by smiles, and nods her head in their direction. “ What a lovely couple you two make.” “ Thank you, merry early christmas”, he says.“ What did she say?” “ Nothing”, he answers quickly, because otherwise she would have definitely killed him.

Mulder puts an arm around her, she snuggles close to his side, breathing in his scent, leaning her head against his shoulder. “ Much better.”  
They look up at the sky. “ No stars”, she says suddenly. “ What?” “ There’s no stars, that’s too bad”, she says almost sadly. “ Well, that’s New York. If you think you see one, it’s probably just an airplane. Sorry”, he adds. “ Nah.” 

They sit in silence, he watches her, just being with each other, no one to separate them, they are not in any danger. She sighs in the darkness. If this is her last christmas, she thinks, it is not that bad. She turns her face towards the night sky, wishing there was a world without injustice and sadness. Why couldn’t she have a normal life, like anyone else? “

Scully, nosebleed.” He gently tilts her head back and gets a napkin from the dispenser on the counter, used for holding food or cleaning hands. He carefully wipes the blood, pressing it gently against her nose, then crumples the napkin in his hand. 

“ I don’t want to lose you”, he whispers. She looks at him, her eyes full of confusion.  
“ You won’t, I’m right here”. But he is afraid. 

He pulls her into his arms, fitting perfectly, as if she were meant to be a part of him. She holds on, not wanting to let go, not now.

Maybe she will try to fight, move on. She will not let her cancer stop her, slow her down, not anymore. She is as certain of this as he has ever been about all the times she has tried to prove him wrong. 

He pulls away and looks at her, eyes searching, no one has ever seen her like this, seen right through her. She hopes it can stay this way. She knows now, that whenever she needs something, anything at all, he is there for her. No one has ever cared for her like that. Maybe it could be love, he could be the way. 

“ Hey, um, Scully, can we do this again sometime. I liked it, a lot”, he says hesitantly. “ Me too, I really did”, she says softly.

He licks his lips, staring at her mouth, he wants to, but doesn’t, instead he kisses her forehead and lifts her up, spinning her around.

Then they walk back to their hotel, holding hands, fading away into the crowd, heartbeats under coats, in a city where anything can happen, and in it’s chaos and noise, she has been able to find a sense of peace, happiness.

He whispers into her ear, “ Maybe there’s hope.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post it in time for Christmas, but I was really busy with schoolwork and other stuff. Just an idea I had. Happy holidays to anyone who reads this. Comments and kudos are always welcome.


End file.
